It's like this....

  You go to a racetrack, and there's a 50:1 Horse named Ditto.  Maybe not so promising.  But I show up and tell you that He hasn't raced in a year.  No one has seen him race, and his training times are amazing.  And his owner has placed a substantial wager for him to win out.  DO YOU PLACE THE BET?  DO YOU TRUST ME?

  2024 Certainly is coming to an EPIC end.  So are other things.  I read the earlierbloogs I have made sporatically, and I wonder who that person is.  My last 4 months have been a whirlwind, of growth. Plain old personal growth in so many ways.  Trying to resolve past trauma from my Parents separation 38 years ago has been one.  These things DO NO GO AWAY WITHOUT WORK!  And they can creep into your life.  They can make you seek validation, from whatever source is willing to give it.  This is a dangerous place to be with your heart and your life on the line.  Fix the problems early on.  Help your kids understand its not their fault.  Teach them it will be okay, and that different is okay and probably good and potentially even GREAT!  If you are unhappy, do the things that make yourself happy.  If you are being manipulated, do whatever it takes to get free from the bonds that are taking your power away.  Get help, Therapists have an obsession with the mind and helping people find peace.  Their techniques are varied and proven.  And it took me a long time to even make a call.

  We don't stop growing! Physically or mentally.  But we can be stagnated.  Don't ever accept you are your best self.  Instead, be working on your best self.  Learn and KNOW your self worth to your core.  This needs to be your Northstar and will never steer you wrong.  Let it guide your relationships with family and friends.  Use it to gauge whether to let someone into your life or remove them from it.  Be kind to yourself.  Speak and think to  yourself with compassion and kindness.  Life is challenging for everyone, at the very least you should be able to count on yourself for kind thoughts and words.  Read a book, go for a walk, run, heal, Love, FUCK! and don't forget to sleep!  I am so ready for 2025.  It cannot come fast enough.  There will be the biggest challenges of my life.  With the biggest rewards possibly!  I know my worth, and it is high!  

  Where was my confidence?  I thought I had it, but it was buried beneath the surface.  Hidden behind the scars of insults and arguements and failures perceived or invented.  Insecurities that were not there before; teased out with Cognitive Dissonance.  But against the odds, I found a little.  Enough to start to believe in it.  I can do hard things! I've always wanted to play hockey, but I can't skate well.  So I make excuses every year.  "Not this year, I'll practice and try next season" I would meekly say to myself.  Not this year, I said "FUCK IT!" I can fall and get back up!  And I can get better, and stronger, SO I DID! I talked nice to myself and my confidence grew! I love Hockey!  I love the people in my league with similar stories to my own.  We are competitive, we aren't elite athletes, but we are getting better.  I scored my first goal, I learned to play and communicate as a team.  We won the league Championship!!!  This BOLD decision to do what I strongly desired validated me beyond my comprehension at the time!  So I signed up for the winter season.  It is still a non-nergotiable weekly outlet for me.  And I grew stronger and faster, everything improved.  I am so proud of myself for starting, and I don't ever want to stop.  

  What a contrast that initial personal success has with the tone of your life!  It did with mine.  The growth is addictive.  I have read and listened to books, talked with a Therapist, her name is Gena and I feel she is a helper!  From our brief time I feel she has had many jobs helping and healing people; and she has wonderful experience and insight.  I have seen where I am not happy.  I have acknowledged the tough road I have to walk to get on the path of happiness.  It is another non-negotiable!  For me and my family.  I can  do hard things! I can be vulnerable, I can be strong and bold!  Scary things are still scary, but my Self Worth needs to evict the negative, and strengthen the positive.  And I can do hard things!

  There is a PERFECT path that I can see, just past this barren valley, over that craggy cliff, and on the other side of that Swamp of Sadness (see what I did there? ARTAX!!!!!!).  It's paved and clean, it gently meanders through soft rolling hills and sparkling lakes.  All my people are there.  And they want me to be there too.  It's always been there.  But the Craggy Cliffs blocked it for a long time.  I've caught glimpses and wandered toward its warmth.  The swamp sucked at my feet and scared me into remaining, feeling like I was not strong enough.  But now I am armed with knowledge, and confidence, and driven by people that need me.  So I will push through the swamp.  I will walk the paved paths, and lay in the meadows and fish the lakes, and do it with my people.

  Its been a great year, Torrey Pines, LA with Mindy, Brent, Lisa and Luke.  Denver for CPCI with the usual suspects from Endicott and the Scotts.  Mexico with the best sister and family anyone could ask for. Its been the OAA show, Declans LAX wins and losses. Steve Miller Band with Rustar and finding the landlocked lake with Wes! There have been friends made and reaquainted.  Lifetime connections for real!  Hockey played, cottage fun with the family.  Hockey tournaments with wins and losses, Kids starting highscool, and kids finishing highschool.  And personal growth for everyone. Almost.  More hockey, more growth, more relationships. Life is abundant, life is good, 2024 was a blessing.  2025 will continue to be better.  More life experiences.  More fears faced and challenged, and life made better.  More workouts completed, more challenges met, more boundaries explored! MORE LIFE LIVED!!  DITTO

Declan and Jack Boyd after winning their first LAX tourney

Huskies Winning CANAM Lake Placid Tourney

The Keenans of 2024

Decs Gr8 Grad with the Grandparents

THE PUCK! My first goal!

My kids go to my old highschool and got me this Jersey!

Torrey Pines GC, La Jolla California

Steve Miller band with Rustar

Renting a Convertible Mustang and Driving from San Diego to LA to see Mindy and Brent

Dinner with Luke, Lisa, Mindy and Brent! Highlight of the year. I hope everyone has family this amazing!

Discovering the land-locked lake with Wes

The kids chillin in Mexico

Dec holding our Lawn Bunny

 March 2024!

  What a crazy year it has been! First thing as it is fresh to mind.  Hockey season has wrapped up, lost in the first round to Woodstock. UGH.  Poor Declan was suspended for the last game of the season and first game of the playoffs for a crappy call by Hamilton Refs.  Anyways, Coach Fio and the boys are moving on and Bryson Sheriff will be the U15AA coach next year.  Declan is excited about having Bryson as coach for Hockey.  We can tie that in talking about Lacrosse.  Box Lacrosse tryouts for Rep are in a couple weeks.  I never thought Declan would be so into it.  Last year was a great first Lacrosse experience for Declan, he loves the contact and the battle of it! Bryson wont be coaching Lacrosse this season, so that is a dissappointment.  But Lacrosse tryouts at the beginning of April and Hockey tryouts at the End of April.

  Addison has had an interesting year! She is a very picky young woman, and has had a boyfriend for nearly a year.  His name is Caleb, and he is a great young man.  She is 16 and Caleb is 17.  He is a great student, and a kind and smart human.  They are great together and definitely best friends.  It is so nice to see them together!  school is going well, and she has been asked to participate in a program for girls looking to go into the law profession.  She is excited for it.  She is still working at Fortinos, and says she hates it, but I think she really enjoys it, she definitely enjoys having money.  She has her G2 license and has been driving to and from work.  Shes a work in progress, but doing well.

  Work is a combination of challenging and annoying right now.  Dealing with Precasters and thin brick is a pain in the butt.  Always a problem, and always a difficult solution.  I have learned so much this year with my experiences.  Adam has done a good job allowing me to learn the ups and downs on my own with some sage advice and guidance.  He often ends up correct in his predictions of how a company will behave, its uncanny.  We are doing really well and have years worth of orders.

  The government of Canada are on the top of everyones mind currently.  PM Justin Trudeau feels like a bad tennant at this point.  He is devastated in the polls.  Taxes on taxes on taxes.  We make great money between Tara and I $250k+, but we have never been so broke.  Its crazy.  average number of people that leave Canada/year is around 90k.  Last year was 450k.  Government is awful, but what are the options? NONE in Canada.  No one can call an election except for the PM, Governor general or King of England.  No one can stop this dictator clown from financially destroying Canada for years.

  Thats about it for now.  Maybe I'll post again this year.....who knows?