Wowsa!

So....after years of:

-talking over people to get in my thoughts on a conversation or correlating idea

-Cutting off people(mostly my wife and family)

-Hyperfocusing on a topic, art project, wood working project

-Losing motivation on renovation projects when 98% done

-Not being able to go to bed before 1am

-Spacing out when being talked to

-Not starting anything unless I have every step worked out in my brain

-Leaving a task to start another that I just thought of or was reminded of

-Having 5-12 trains of thought going, along with the melody of some song or other at once

-Losing keys, wallet, phone, charger at least 3 times a week.

-Having conversations in my head with friends, family and customers over possible situations in preparation of that conversation actually happening.  Which most of the time it doesn't manifest.

-Not doing jobs at work unless there is definitive timelines attached

-Avoiding jobs requiring more time and focus, and instead doing less important jobs that can be completed quicker.

-Being sucked into something on my phone and saying, okay 5 more minutes, okay just 5 more minutes, stop playing this game, stop scrolling, put the phone down.  WHY WONT YOU STOP! JUST STOP! TURN IT OFF....and then realizing its been 2 hours.

I realize that I have ADHD.

I was told a million times as a kid that I probably had ADD. I was never diagnosed.  My focus issues were masked by excellent test marks because I remember almost photographically.  Although I didn't follow through on homework often.  I was hyperactive.  But also had a hyperactive mind.  I did feel focus.  Usually doing art or playing LEGO.  OMG creating with LEGO saved my life so many times.

But now, It is stopping my  personal growth, now I see the connection between the symptoms.  IT IS LIKE A NEON SIGN TURNED ON ABOVE MY HEAD! Get help with this....NOW.  I've made an appointment with my family doctor, for next wednesday March 24th.  I will write again after that.  I can't even imagine feeling normal, because I always felt normal and dealt with my personal challenges or ignored them.  But as I get older I realize...MY Brain is not normal.

FINGERS CROSSED!

Oddly enough, when I expressed this to my parents, they made a million excuses why they never tested me as a kid.  And told me I just have to learn to manage my time better......WTF?! I know how to manage time better, I just CAN'T!!!

when I expressed this to my friends, to a person they all said...You're not shocked by this are you?  We've just always assumed it.  My friends are the best.